spiralthicket
Newbie
Canadian Branches Gaelic Roots
Posts: 15
Pronouns: She / Her
Religion: Gaelic Polytheist
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Post by spiralthicket on Jul 23, 2015 20:38:01 GMT -6
Many people suffer from mental illnesses, phobias, disorders, and other ailments of many kinds and I thought it would be nice to have a place to share, express and talk about the mental health issues we all face and how it plays a roll in our lives and practices.
I have chronic generalized anxiety, and depression. At times it makes is very hard just to get out of bed, let alone much else. I found that my deities have played a big role when it comes to motivation, and comfort, but as we all sometimes it's not enough.
What do you do to cope? does your practice influence your mental health? Are there deities you look to in times of need? ( I know Brìghde is a bit of a mama bear to me )
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Post by Allec on Jul 25, 2015 19:02:57 GMT -6
I met Lugh while crying out from the darkness of depression... so I tend to look to Him for strength when it comes to mental health.
I have some superstitions and magical workings that help with my anxiety. Nothing really seems to help my depression other than prayer.
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calluna
Newbie
Posts: 45
Pronouns: She/Her
Religion: Gaelic Polytheism
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Post by calluna on Jul 25, 2015 21:03:37 GMT -6
I have PTSD as well as a history of disordered eating, as well as dealing with disabilities and a developmental delay...which is all not as bad as it sounds (I think). I get very frustrated with myself often, but I think, for me personally, the gods help me in various ways. Beira is very much the "I'm going to take care of you," one, while Manannán is the one who shows me crafts and skills that work around my many and sundry issues, while Scáthach is the one who kicks my arse out of bed while I needs it, pushes me to push myself, and the angry mother fox by turns. while Na Morrígna generally show up to inform me that something needs to be destroyed utterly.
Basically, for me it's the equivalent of Cool Grandma who feeds you soup, cuddles you, and tells you stories while she works, Awesome Dad who teaches you to get through and around all the obstacles, Badass Mum who forces you to work hard for yourself but if someone hurts you, watch out, and Eccentric Aunts who ay "Make it burn," "Make it break" or "Make it bleed."
I think it's cool that you have Brighid as a Mama Bear personality! Sometimes I feel like the only GaelPol that doesn't worship her, but I've always gotten a very standoffish vibe from her, like she never wants anything to do with me. I don't know if she just doesn't like me or what.
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Post by Mivi on Jul 25, 2015 21:26:25 GMT -6
I might have borderline personality disorder. I have to research more and I have no means to get that professionally diagnosed at the moment, but reading everything it all explains my behavior..
I lean on my Father, Sobek-Ra as always. For everything. But he was also the one who reached out to me when I was getting hit especially hard with depression.
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Post by brimstonne on Jul 26, 2015 12:58:04 GMT -6
I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and anxiety related panic disorders, and depression a couple of years ago, but I lost my insurance right afterwards and had to do my own research. Im in the process of trying to find a new doctor, because I think that its much more likely that I have borderline personality disorder. Personally its why I love the Morrigan so much, because when Im depressed they help me get my butt in gear to get the necessary things done (like eating) and when Im anxious they make me feel alot safer. She can be so terrifying, but also really understanding if I say 'I cant do that at this point in time'.
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ryeduck
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Pronouns: he/his/him
Religion: TBD
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Post by ryeduck on Jul 27, 2015 7:45:58 GMT -6
I have had depression my entire life and if I'm going through a bout with it and get stressed I get anxiety problems on top of it. Thankfully my depression comes and goes through cycles which gives me the good times to look forward to. Still a pain to have to struggle with it though.
I've found that daily meditation is the best way to manage my depression (though I haven't had a daily practice in a while! UGH!!! Need to fix that!) Last year though, I went through a unusually strong bout and it really struck me that I need to find support. I'm not comfortable talking about it with others and I don't trust shrinks so I've started to turn to the gods and see if a relationship with them might help me.
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Post by Allec on Jul 27, 2015 12:09:25 GMT -6
It's definitely useful to talk to people, Rye! Or write it out. Helps give perspective. Sometimes that can be with the gods, but sometimes it helps to talk to corporeal people too I started getting comfortable talking about my depression by just blogging about it to the ether, then it became easier to talk to people one-on-one in chats, followed eventually by being able to talk to people in person. It's a process though and definitely isn't easy.
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ryeduck
Junior Member
Posts: 63
Pronouns: he/his/him
Religion: TBD
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Post by ryeduck on Jul 28, 2015 7:19:29 GMT -6
Thanks for suggesting writing it out. I used to have a journaling habit that helped me a good bit, but I've dropped it a few months ago. Totally needed that reminder cause I need to start that up again. And yea, I know talking to people can help. When my mom can tell something is wrong she'll usually sit me down and force it out of me. Also my girlfriend is pretty understanding about these things and I know I can talk to her as well... I just never feel comfortable with it. Though I do feel better afterwards.
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Post by Allec on Jul 28, 2015 13:55:47 GMT -6
It's a hard habit to get into, and even harder to feel okay about it. Let us know if there is anyway we can help (That goes for everyone posting on this thread!)
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Huri
Newbie
gone in the river
Posts: 36
Pronouns: They/Them
Religion: Gaelic Polytheist
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Post by Huri on Aug 4, 2015 22:15:09 GMT -6
I have Complex-PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder* which has mostly effected by relationships with others (and kept me out of a religious community for awhile) and has surprisingly not effected my relationship with the gods, save for a slowly ebbing hesitance around male deities. Non-mental health ailments are another story, because fibromyalgia and cognitive issues wanna make everything a big bump in the road. There's the issue that I faced when first starting out where I'd see people talk about their experiences with The Morrigan in ways that were very alienating to me; She doesn't accept "weakness" or "giving up" or blahhhhh. I'm glad when others (like calluna in this thread) mention their exact opposite experience because there's still a fear that'll magically spring up one day. I think my path has definitely helped me but I can't articulate why just yet? * I always feel the need to bring this up: CPTSD in itself and BPD share a lot of qualities, some people say that BPD might be part of the Big Fun Mix of CPTSD Symptoms while others say you can't/shouldn't be diagnosed CPTSD and BPD at the same time (kinda similar to the debate around Histrionic Personality Disorder and BPD).
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Post by myriadofcolors on Aug 5, 2015 8:23:56 GMT -6
I think the issue with me and any relationship with gods, or with people, is that my depression makes me numb to those nice feelings of love and friendship and goodness. Intellectually, I'm happy, but inside there's nothing. Like, praying to Brighid, I feel nothing except how I'm just talking to myself, this isn't working, etc. And I don't feel inspired by anything I read anywhere.
But when my depression is lighter, I feel like I wake up to the world, and I believe in everything again.
Yay, depression!!!!! Ruining my life!!!!! Yay!!!!!
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Post by Allec on Aug 5, 2015 22:42:22 GMT -6
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Post by myriadofcolors on Aug 7, 2015 8:07:36 GMT -6
Thanks, Allec, it was definitely informative and relieving to know I'm not the only one.
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cass
Junior Member
Posts: 77
Pronouns: they/their
Religion: Gaelic polytheist
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Post by cass on Aug 13, 2015 11:49:05 GMT -6
i've often had a lot of difficulties with mental health and brainweird issues when it comes to spirituality and my practice. i have the depression/GAD combo that on top of ADD makes routine seem like the most impossible thing ever. developing a daily practice is a major goal for me, but i've yet to figure out how to make it work. meditation is also ridiculously hard, and now that i have chronic pain it's even worse because movement meditation would work for me sometimes, but now it's just painful like everything else. getting violent intrusive images doesn't really help that either >_<
it seems like i've gotten a lot of anxieties around community under control, because i used to just disappear whenever things got overwhelming. it's taken a lot to realize that community didn't have to be something i was constantly afraid of. even though i'm still having trouble joining in certain aspects of community due to self esteem and social anxiety, at least i'm not running away from it regularly any more. things with my gods seem to be more difficult. there's so much talk within celtic polytheist circles about how important it is to greet your gods with your head held high and being all these things that i've never felt like i can be... that it can be really hard to believe that the gods want anything to do with me. there's been a lot of times where i've felt like they've obviously given up on me. i've been trying to deal with this by seeing learning how to cope and just getting through the day as a sort of offering to the gods. but the drawback of that is all the times i feel like i'm failing at those things, i also feel like i'm failing the gods, and that's hard af to deal with.
it doesn't help that i don't feel like i can be open about my religion around therapists, so it's hard to find people to talk to about this really important intersection with my health. i've been thinking of looking more into things like the icarus project, and i'm really excited to read what erynn rowan laurie has to say about geilt in her new book.
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Post by solginn on Aug 20, 2015 15:35:48 GMT -6
My experience......I've suffered depression since a very young age, and my anxiety has grown steadily worse over the years. I self-diagnosed with ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) and my therapist agreed with me a few months ago on the diagnosis, but I haven't been "officially" diagnosed (as in, I don't know if I qualify as disabled or not due to the anxiety combined with the social dysfunctions ASD gives me, because a doctor hasn't signed a piece of paper....sighh....not to mention it's a frustrating process to get diagnosed as an adult, because a lot of people figure if you weren't a stereotypical autistic child then you're fine and you don't need a diagnosis at all, or something...) BUT...due to moving out of my stagnant and somewhat toxic childhood home and living in a new environment the past month, I've felt better than I have in a long time. I'm about to start a new job and I'm not sure how it will affect my mental health, but I'm sincerely hoping it'll work out for me and I'll get to stay here for a good while. Not being dirt poor anymore will certainly help, I imagine. As I mentioned in my introduction post, Bast was the one to gently nudge me in the direction of witchcraft and paganism, with Loki taking over later. I've noticed a good bit of improvement in myself since then. Loki makes me laugh when I feel like crying. He inspires me when I'm losing hope. He talks me out of dark headspaces and his presence gives me strength. I honestly don't know how I survived this long without him, unless he was there all along and I just didn't know it. It's really validating to read about so many others going through similar things. Thanks to whoever made this thread. <3
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