Post by Des on Feb 16, 2016 9:20:10 GMT -6
Some of you may remember me as Raine, that was my previous display name and is still my main username, but I've changed my display name to Des which is short for Desdemona. I'm hoping a new display/posting name will help emphasize my personal changes.
I came over here from Ecauldron, along with several other members. (Shoutout to y'all if you're still around!) When I joined, I was pretty set on being Gaelic Polytheist. Then it went to something else, then something else, then something else. I attribute this to me being unstable in my mental state, which translated to me being unstable religiously. I was putting far too much emphasis on UPG, and not really respecting the cultures and traditions with which I was pulling from. I'm looking to change that. Not quite sure where I'm going to start, but it's going to be completely fresh, and I want it to be a work in progress.
So, as some of you remember, I was diagnosed with a mental disability and was fighting it with medications. However, I was never really stable even on my best of days. I've gone through some major events, including being kicked out of my home, to which I've returned. (For those who know, where I turned to when I was kicked out was far worse then remaining with my parents.) I'm back in college, I have a stable office based job at a library now, and I'm got my own car/phone. I'm working on a social worker degree, and a medical billing and coding certificate. I'm building a regular excerise regime, to help control my stress levels, and I've even found a signifcant other who occupies most of my free time (happily, they're within driving distance, and I get to actually interact with them. It's a learning experience in itself).
I'm actually off of all my medications, and I find that I'm a much happier person for it, even on the hard days. I worked very hard in therapy for several months to really understand my mental process and reactions, so I can rewire them and work on myself. Inner work is the basis for my current sucess, but I've still got much work to do. I find my thought process is more stable now, and I'm really starting to figure out who I actually am, versus thinking I know myself. Self discovery is a beautiful thing, and I'm thoroughly enjoying the road. Many thanks to my therapist who stuck with me, even when I got ridiculous! (I actually consider the way I came to her for help more of a stroke of luck then anything, to be frank. I seriously went through way too many therapists who just didn't care.)
I've come back to PCF because I'm looking to build a foundation, a real one. I don't personally feel that my escapades before have helped me in my growth now, and I've found that its left me with no real base line to pull from in hard times when my emotions are running wild or I'm floundering around trying to find a direction. I tried christianity again, thinking that maybe I turned from it because of my disability, but that was certainly not the case. It's really not for me, and it just doesn't click.
Hoping to reconnect with y'all and find a place to really start at it again. Consider me a newbie! :D
I came over here from Ecauldron, along with several other members. (Shoutout to y'all if you're still around!) When I joined, I was pretty set on being Gaelic Polytheist. Then it went to something else, then something else, then something else. I attribute this to me being unstable in my mental state, which translated to me being unstable religiously. I was putting far too much emphasis on UPG, and not really respecting the cultures and traditions with which I was pulling from. I'm looking to change that. Not quite sure where I'm going to start, but it's going to be completely fresh, and I want it to be a work in progress.
So, as some of you remember, I was diagnosed with a mental disability and was fighting it with medications. However, I was never really stable even on my best of days. I've gone through some major events, including being kicked out of my home, to which I've returned. (For those who know, where I turned to when I was kicked out was far worse then remaining with my parents.) I'm back in college, I have a stable office based job at a library now, and I'm got my own car/phone. I'm working on a social worker degree, and a medical billing and coding certificate. I'm building a regular excerise regime, to help control my stress levels, and I've even found a signifcant other who occupies most of my free time (happily, they're within driving distance, and I get to actually interact with them. It's a learning experience in itself).
I'm actually off of all my medications, and I find that I'm a much happier person for it, even on the hard days. I worked very hard in therapy for several months to really understand my mental process and reactions, so I can rewire them and work on myself. Inner work is the basis for my current sucess, but I've still got much work to do. I find my thought process is more stable now, and I'm really starting to figure out who I actually am, versus thinking I know myself. Self discovery is a beautiful thing, and I'm thoroughly enjoying the road. Many thanks to my therapist who stuck with me, even when I got ridiculous! (I actually consider the way I came to her for help more of a stroke of luck then anything, to be frank. I seriously went through way too many therapists who just didn't care.)
I've come back to PCF because I'm looking to build a foundation, a real one. I don't personally feel that my escapades before have helped me in my growth now, and I've found that its left me with no real base line to pull from in hard times when my emotions are running wild or I'm floundering around trying to find a direction. I tried christianity again, thinking that maybe I turned from it because of my disability, but that was certainly not the case. It's really not for me, and it just doesn't click.
Hoping to reconnect with y'all and find a place to really start at it again. Consider me a newbie! :D
