Chev
Junior Member
Struggling to learn and grow.
Posts: 97 
Pronouns: She/Her
Religion: Oh, ain't that the question
|
Post by Chev on Jan 27, 2015 1:45:28 GMT -6
Hey guys! I roam around largely as Chevko, but I've been eyeballing another username so you may see me swap to Nemmet at some point. I'm in St. Louis, picked up doodling from time to time, and I do some political work as a career choice (yay! politics without the politics!) so you may see me complain about employees at some point, but that may be another few months from now. I play largely PC games as I can't get my PS3 set up just yet and I'm big on Mass Effect (currently). Largely, my journey has been... halted, or stunted really. I used to be super open to various spiritual things, but a relationship that went bad has hurt me some years ago, it really caused a disjoint in me, but that's a long, sad story as to why, and all I can really do is hope I can open back up again. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman!) Even my belief in fae has been shaken. I've found that I have some... deific commitment issues. I'm fairly drawn to Manannan, though I've had odd... things with Shiva and Shesh Nag. Nightmare protection and warnings and dream guidance, largely. I dabble with two tarot decks and an animal totem deck, but I have little motivation to actually try doing readings, which sucks because I want to do them  Uh. So yeah. I'm gonna leave this at that since I'm bad at these things and I'm just gonna keep rambling on, lol. |
|
|
|
Post by Allec on Jan 27, 2015 1:55:44 GMT -6
Hey Chev! Welcome to the forum  I know you were naming the name of the deck, but be weary of calling things "totems." They have a long history and family significance in a lot of Native tribes, and calling anything a "totem" is often seen as disrespectful to the Native people. (Doesn't help that you see it EVERYWHERE but that's what happens when the majority is oppressing the minority.) I'm really sorry to hear about your stunt in your spiritual journey  I hope you can come to heal. On a lighter note, are you romancing anyone in ME? I haven't played it, but I know SO MANY who have haha. |
|
Chev
Junior Member
Struggling to learn and grow.
Posts: 97
Pronouns: She/Her
Religion: Oh, ain't that the question
|
Post by Chev on Jan 27, 2015 2:16:36 GMT -6
I completely understand on about the appropriation, but it is literally the Pathfinders Animal Totem deck. My brain gets confused when I call it Pathfinders since it tries to associate 3.0(?) with it instead. I should probably give the thing a name, honestly. I refer to it about three different ways It's been... 7? years now? I think. I'm honestly not sure if I can, or I just might need to be cracked open in order to heal properly. Not something I'm looking forward to >_< On my current play through I'm torn between Liara and Kaiden. I originally went for Kaiden the first time I played, but screwed that up in the end I adore the game so much I have copies for PS3, Origin, AND Steam. 2 copies of 1, 3 of 2, 2 of 3 xD If I can get my mitts on a Wii U I AM BUYING THE THIRD AGAIN. |
|
|
|
Post by Allec on Jan 27, 2015 5:21:36 GMT -6
I know what deck you are talking about, too. AND I know what Pathfinder is! So I understand your dilemma ...Maybe PAT deck? Use an abbreviation? :/ Or just call it your Animal Deck until pressed for specifics?
I'm being "cracked open" to heal but it's not about spiritual stuff. I have severe anxiety and it's getting in the way of life. It's...challenging but I'm around some supportive people, which really helps make it easier.
I don't hear many people talk about Kaiden! Also, I should really consider playing it...'cause you're not the only person I have heard talk about it. It's also my type of game. I'm just so...miffed about the ending that I have issues bringing myself to start it at all. Which is a lame excuse haha.
|
|
Chev
Junior Member
Struggling to learn and grow.
Posts: 97
Pronouns: She/Her
Religion: Oh, ain't that the question
|
Post by Chev on Jan 27, 2015 11:23:01 GMT -6
Yeah, lol. I'll think of something eventually, even if it's not all that original. I'm just a bit of a loss for healing, so the only thing I can think of is being broken, honestly. It sucks. But yeah. Garrus is who I usually go for, but I can't do Wrex, soooooooo Kaiden or Liara it is xD you should look into getting it when you can set aside the money :3 I really want to buy DA:I, but I need to beat the first one first I know what you mean though on the ending. I cried. A lot. Even with the green ending. Apparently the red ending is the official one though. I think that will tie in for the next one, when it gets finished. |
|
|
|
Post by brimstonne on Jan 27, 2015 13:30:08 GMT -6
Im sorry to hear that you were hurt and having to heal, I know how difficult that can be, the only things I can really suggest are to take it slow and not rush into things. It might help to set up a list of rules for anyone you would want to work with, almost like a self care list, but a list of things that would make you more comfortable around any entities and a list of things that will make you run for the hills if they try it? It might help you feel more in control of the relationship, and Ive even got one made and have yet to meet an entity who wont respect the list.
|
|
Chev
Junior Member
Struggling to learn and grow.
Posts: 97
Pronouns: She/Her
Religion: Oh, ain't that the question
|
Post by Chev on Jan 27, 2015 14:22:34 GMT -6
It's not really... It's like... I can't feel. Not like I used to. I try to open myself, but it's stuck, kind of like plastic that's melted together. When you try to pull it apart, it doesn't really go. Other times it feels like a door made of a solid slab of oak. (I would say ligum vitae, but it almost literally feels like oak, or some similar wood.)
I can feel air riders, especially at my parents, but that's about it. I used to have heart for the wee folk, to melt into the ground and feel a rotation of the planet* as I lay down for bed, but... I've lost it. And with it, motivation and heart to go back. Oddly I feel Manannan when someone posts something in relation to him, but that may be strength of presence.
* I say "a rotation" because I would typically go head first when facing north.
|
|
I hope you can come to heal. 
