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Post by adolphuscrowfeather on Apr 26, 2015 7:59:30 GMT -6
Thanks. I will definitely try that. And thanks for the info too! And, this sadly is because of my Aspergers, how, if explainable, do you approach them as one of their people? I mean, I don't know my place enough to know how I'd rank even as a solitary faery, but like still, I am a weeee bit confused there? Confused on both actually: my actual place/ranking and how I approach them as one of them. Let's just say physical human really messes me up (me being my wolf spirit.) I don't necessarily even think about rank myself tbh... most of the fey I interact with are the "common fey" of my local Wild Hunt, so I just kinda talk to them as equals for the most part. As for approaching them as one of them, I just try to talk to them as if... we're part of the same group. You know how you can have in-group conversations where you're fairly casual and you know everyone is in solidarity with you in some way, and out-group conversations where you have to approach people more respectfully, if only because you don't know how they'd react to you joking around? I usually treat them as an in-group. It seems to work for me. Hello again. Maybe I interpreted the "in group" thing wrong (Aspergers not only processing but social too.) I mean, technically I feel that means interaction should be easier. I don't know if I talked right, but I try to say "brethren" instead of fey. I talk to them sometimes by hypothetical commiserating with my spirit and all instead of talking to them about it like telling. I mean, even now I'm still sadly confused on what to do... Sorry .... Just it seems no matter what I do or say I get a wall from everything. It's hard for me to even understand how to integrate my spirit in all this honestly, as if I am spiritually a wolf, offering to another fey sounds a bit awkward? Sometimes I even asked just to have a "night out with them." so we could do what fey do and give my spirit something happy. I don't know, really. I think to go deeper.... In a perspective or percent way, take you and me for example. You, if processed right, have either 67% or 100% of being fey, considering your body and mind seemingly should be fey based on your birth story, with the spirit thing making 100 if you believe your spirit is a fey as well. For me, I'm pretty much 67% human and only 33% wolf, meaning I nearly have no say in much of him since this human thing takes dominance. If I really think about it, I barely know my spirit, truly. I can assume or wish he is like the beloved wulvers of Scotland who help the random poor with fish anonymously, (for an odd reason, I know I can help the community as a human, but it weirdly and badly doesn't feel authentic for some very stupid reason in my mind or being), but he could easily be a bloody savage (less likely based on Gaelic lore) or just a normal neutral wolf of both, or a "bi-pedal" wolf (not shapeshifting I mean, hence not saying werewolf, weird concept of just a bipedal wolf, but idk it seems okay by lore?) In most ways, I only know my spirits what, not his who, aka, what he is, not who he is as a fey. The other fey or the gods don't seem to care about me, but.... I think I might have found, maybe not saying it's true, I might be under the "Evil Eye." (It sounds, honestly, too dualistic, but as long as it genuinely is Gaelic and not a Christian add on I'm fine for for some reason if it's a Christian add on I feel bamboozled spiritually, which make sense in that respect.). To actually be certain is hard honestly. Or even some other curse. No idea. The point is, it's getting out of hand. I mean, really, I'm deconstructing my Phantom Queen shrine partially, not fully, and re devoting some things to my spirit and things, and they, the Queens, don't even say a peep or stab me in either or way! Sadly, this really is the only place I can really feel I can talk on this, so sorry if this is making everything more tense here . Honestly at this point, all I have is this community, and I don't want to lose you all because of my problems and becoming untouchable for being to easily hurt by all this and being mostly negative, and might be wrong word, but being also very weak in the matter and giving up kind of quickly due to the strive for even a little something to happen.
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Ciar Lionheart
Junior Member
And I love you like a mountain.
Posts: 89
Pronouns: Ey/Em or He/Him
Religion: Irish Polytheist
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Post by Ciar Lionheart on Apr 26, 2015 18:00:55 GMT -6
Hello again. Maybe I interpreted the "in group" thing wrong (Aspergers not only processing but social too.) I mean, technically I feel that means interaction should be easier. I don't know if I talked right, but I try to say "brethren" instead of fey. I talk to them sometimes by hypothetical commiserating with my spirit and all instead of talking to them about it like telling. I mean, even now I'm still sadly confused on what to do... Sorry :(.... Just it seems no matter what I do or say I get a wall from everything. It's hard for me to even understand how to integrate my spirit in all this honestly, as if I am spiritually a wolf, offering to another fey sounds a bit awkward? Sometimes I even asked just to have a "night out with them." so we could do what fey do and give my spirit something happy. I don't know, really. I think to go deeper.... In a perspective or percent way, take you and me for example. You, if processed right, have either 67% or 100% of being fey, considering your body and mind seemingly should be fey based on your birth story, with the spirit thing making 100 if you believe your spirit is a fey as well. For me, I'm pretty much 67% human and only 33% wolf, meaning I nearly have no say in much of him since this human thing takes dominance. If I really think about it, I barely know my spirit, truly. I can assume or wish he is like the beloved wulvers of Scotland who help the random poor with fish anonymously, (for an odd reason, I know I can help the community as a human, but it weirdly and badly doesn't feel authentic for some very stupid reason in my mind or being), but he could easily be a bloody savage (less likely based on Gaelic lore) or just a normal neutral wolf of both, or a "bi-pedal" wolf (not shapeshifting I mean, hence not saying werewolf, weird concept of just a bipedal wolf, but idk it seems okay by lore?) In most ways, I only know my spirits what, not his who, aka, what he is, not who he is as a fey. The other fey or the gods don't seem to care about me, but.... I think I might have found, maybe not saying it's true, I might be under the "Evil Eye." (It sounds, honestly, too dualistic, but as long as it genuinely is Gaelic and not a Christian add on I'm fine for for some reason if it's a Christian add on I feel bamboozled spiritually, which make sense in that respect.). To actually be certain is hard honestly. Or even some other curse. No idea. The point is, it's getting out of hand. I mean, really, I'm deconstructing my Phantom Queen shrine partially, not fully, and re devoting some things to my spirit and things, and they, the Queens, don't even say a peep or stab me in either or way! Sadly, this really is the only place I can really feel I can talk on this, so sorry if this is making everything more tense here :(. Honestly at this point, all I have is this community, and I don't want to lose you all because of my problems and becoming untouchable for being to easily hurt by all this and being mostly negative, and might be wrong word, but being also very weak in the matter and giving up kind of quickly due to the strive for even a little something to happen. I don't know, man, I really want to help you out but this is really far outside my realm of experience and I don't at all know what would help you. I've never really felt like I needed a response from anyone, I just talk and hope they're listening and it seems to be working out so far. Talking to them as brethren is more or less what I had in mind with my suggestions. I do still give offerings, but it's more like the way I'd give food and candy and stuff to my friends. But if it doesn't seem to be working for you then... I don't know. Maybe you're just not a naturally receptive person when it comes to god-sense. I know I'm not. I just try to trust my intuition, and use divination if I feel lost. I also don't really believe I have a "spirit" in the same sense that you do, like... my spirit is my body and mind, there's no distance or separation between them—my "spirit" is the thing that encompasses all of me, body and mind both. I really don't have any perspective on the whole idea of reincarnation or transplanted souls or anything like that because it's just completely alien to the way I experience my life. I'm sorry. I really have no idea how to help with this.
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Post by adolphuscrowfeather on Apr 26, 2015 20:59:46 GMT -6
-taken out by myself-
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Post by adolphuscrowfeather on May 4, 2015 21:03:37 GMT -6
Hello again. Maybe I interpreted the "in group" thing wrong (Aspergers not only processing but social too.) I mean, technically I feel that means interaction should be easier. I don't know if I talked right, but I try to say "brethren" instead of fey. I talk to them sometimes by hypothetical commiserating with my spirit and all instead of talking to them about it like telling. I mean, even now I'm still sadly confused on what to do... Sorry .... Just it seems no matter what I do or say I get a wall from everything. It's hard for me to even understand how to integrate my spirit in all this honestly, as if I am spiritually a wolf, offering to another fey sounds a bit awkward? Sometimes I even asked just to have a "night out with them." so we could do what fey do and give my spirit something happy. I don't know, really. I think to go deeper.... In a perspective or percent way, take you and me for example. You, if processed right, have either 67% or 100% of being fey, considering your body and mind seemingly should be fey based on your birth story, with the spirit thing making 100 if you believe your spirit is a fey as well. For me, I'm pretty much 67% human and only 33% wolf, meaning I nearly have no say in much of him since this human thing takes dominance. If I really think about it, I barely know my spirit, truly. I can assume or wish he is like the beloved wulvers of Scotland who help the random poor with fish anonymously, (for an odd reason, I know I can help the community as a human, but it weirdly and badly doesn't feel authentic for some very stupid reason in my mind or being), but he could easily be a bloody savage (less likely based on Gaelic lore) or just a normal neutral wolf of both, or a "bi-pedal" wolf (not shapeshifting I mean, hence not saying werewolf, weird concept of just a bipedal wolf, but idk it seems okay by lore?) In most ways, I only know my spirits what, not his who, aka, what he is, not who he is as a fey. The other fey or the gods don't seem to care about me, but.... I think I might have found, maybe not saying it's true, I might be under the "Evil Eye." (It sounds, honestly, too dualistic, but as long as it genuinely is Gaelic and not a Christian add on I'm fine for for some reason if it's a Christian add on I feel bamboozled spiritually, which make sense in that respect.). To actually be certain is hard honestly. Or even some other curse. No idea. The point is, it's getting out of hand. I mean, really, I'm deconstructing my Phantom Queen shrine partially, not fully, and re devoting some things to my spirit and things, and they, the Queens, don't even say a peep or stab me in either or way! Sadly, this really is the only place I can really feel I can talk on this, so sorry if this is making everything more tense here . Honestly at this point, all I have is this community, and I don't want to lose you all because of my problems and becoming untouchable for being to easily hurt by all this and being mostly negative, and might be wrong word, but being also very weak in the matter and giving up kind of quickly due to the strive for even a little something to happen. I don't know, man, I really want to help you out but this is really far outside my realm of experience and I don't at all know what would help you. I've never really felt like I needed a response from anyone, I just talk and hope they're listening and it seems to be working out so far. Talking to them as brethren is more or less what I had in mind with my suggestions. I do still give offerings, but it's more like the way I'd give food and candy and stuff to my friends. But if it doesn't seem to be working for you then... I don't know. Maybe you're just not a naturally receptive person when it comes to god-sense. I know I'm not. I just try to trust my intuition, and use divination if I feel lost. I also don't really believe I have a "spirit" in the same sense that you do, like... my spirit is my body and mind, there's no distance or separation between them—my "spirit" is the thing that encompasses all of me, body and mind both. I really don't have any perspective on the whole idea of reincarnation or transplanted souls or anything like that because it's just completely alien to the way I experience my life. I'm sorry. I really have no idea how to help with this. It's fine friend. I'm getting to a better place in all this it seems, and I will talk about it once more comes to light.
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Post by adolphuscrowfeather on May 17, 2015 21:12:57 GMT -6
I'm sure based on the history of this post it won't be heard, but if it is, please note I'm genuinely sorry for really being so negative. I will start to say only positive things for honestly I don't like what I said before and how it sounded. If I need help I'll ask of course, but I'm talking like being so depressing in the texts that I even had to personally take text down. Either or, I hope I can contribute more and will try to for the community instead of kind of abusing it as I felt I did.
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Post by Allec on May 25, 2015 6:52:49 GMT -6
It's okay if you end up being negative every so often. Being positive all the time isn't natural. Bottling things up isn't healthy, either :/
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Post by saintfelicity on May 25, 2015 23:08:19 GMT -6
Seriously Adolphus, feel free to let it out when you need to. This is a safe space for that. Even if people can't offer concrete advice we can definitely still listen! Honestly I've seen you grow so much participating in the forum, you're doing awesome.
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Post by adolphuscrowfeather on May 26, 2015 21:02:17 GMT -6
Thanks Allec and Saintfelicity . I, honestly can't think of words right now. I know this seems like a big reaction, and trust me, it means a lot what you both said. I would try to explain why the big reaction, but again, kind of lost for words . It made me smile and nearly cry (not sadly) to read both your lines. Just, thanks a ton is all I can think of inputting atm
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